Online Dating Advice for the Everyday Goddess Seeking her Warrior Part 1

November 17, 2016

 

In theory online dating is an amazing concept. Years ago,  my girlfriends and I used to joke that it was like ordering pizza. I guess in some ways it still is. Online dating isn’t for the faint hearted. It will test your self confidence and self esteem.  With all honesty, you need a thick skin and you can’t take it all too seriously. The best approach in entering the online world is do so without expectations and just see what happens.

 

First, you need to be honest with yourself and know what you're looking for.  Are you looking for a long term relationship? Hook ups? Something Casual? Just someone to date? Once you’ve decided, choose a dating site that fits the type of “relationship” you are looking for.  In all honesty, if you are looking to “hook up” or something casual, you will have an easy time finding that on almost any dating site.

 

Long term relationships don’t need to be defined, but casual; friends with benefits;  and hook ups do.  In my experience online, the lines of what actual dating is seem to be really blurred. Dating actually involves leaving the house and doing things together in public. Dating can either be exclusive or not. Hook ups, are just as they sound. You hook up to have sex , to satisfy your mutual carnal desires and nothing else. Often times it just happens once. Casual relationships can have various sub categories. You can be exclusive with the agreement that you only want to keep things light and fun. Usually the exclusivity is more for sexual health reasons. There are less expectations in this arrangement.  You see each other maybe once a week, every two weeks or maybe even longer depending on what works for you both. In some casual relationships, people date more than one person.  Friends with benefits don’t date.  These are more Netflix and Chill type nights or even hook up type booty calls. They can be exclusive or not.  These are very loose definitions.

 

A word to the empowered Goddess about hook ups and casual sex. Some women find it empowering to be able to hook up with a guy and just leave . It’s not for me to say or judge what a woman decides to do. However, it’s not very empowering to hook up and only feel like shit afterwards.   These types of arrangements aren’t for everyone, myself included. For me personally, I'm a one guy kinda gal even if its casual. Please remember, a big part of empowerment is how you feel about yourself. If you are doing something that makes you feel shitty, STOP! These arrangements aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay. You must do want makes happy.  You have to look in the mirror and be good with your choices. Also, never expect a casual type relationship to become more than it is. There are many times it can develop into more, but just a many that it remains the same. This is why it's really important to understand your own needs and what types of "relationships" you can or can't do.

 

Let's evaluate the types of profiles you will encounter. I will warn you right now there are many fake accounts out there.  I’ve become amazing at vetting them out and here are some things I've learned along the way.  The long term guy, he sounds dreamy, has everything you are looking for, including the same mindset. The majority of the time, these guys are looking for hookups. I know it sounds shocking! He spoon feeds you everything you want to hear and because you feel you have the same goals, you let your guard down and sleep with him right away and boom he’s gone. It’s the ultimate play. A guy who’s really looking for a long term partner will have no problems waiting for sex.  Most men who are actually looking for long term relationships will not put that on their profiles. To many, it comes across as a sign of weakness to admit they actually want a long term relationship.

 

Be careful of any man who says “ I have no expectations” as nine out of ten times it means they are looking for hook ups.  That is not a bad thing if that's what you want as well.  If it's not, stay clear of these guys.  It's like the long term guy; they make it seem like they are open to more, to lure you in.  Be also very cautious of the guy who claims the dating app isn’t allowing him to upload his pictures but he’s happy to send you them via email. Look,  if thousands of dudes can do it, so can he and even on free sites they still let you put up a picture. Dating sites want you to have picture.  It's what makes them successful. The guys that want to start exchanging emails that quickly usually end up being con artists. Be very very careful.

 

The guy with no picture..... Okay Goddesses, here’s the deal. These guys are usually married or in relationships. They will tell you that they don’t put their picture online because of their job or not wanting their coworkers to see them, or what ever excuse they can come up with. If they are worried about their picture on a public profile, shields up red alert!  These guys will try to get you to move over to Skype, kik or bbm relatively quickly and tell you that they will share over there. Now don’t get me wrong as these are great apps to use if you’re not ready to exchange your digits and want to get off the dating site to talk.  However, also be on guard that if a guy,  after some time,  doesn’t want to give you his real number. Then those are warning bells not to ignore.

 

The guy with the picture that looks way too good to be true, because it is, its a fake. Usually they only have one picture, sometimes a few “poses”. I have found that they usually get them off of gay porn sites.  These guys are usually the ones who have been hurt by a woman badly or have no luck with women in real life. So they go online and pretend to be someone they are not. The ones hurt by love before are now out to hurt women, just like they have been hurt. You will never meet this guy, he will at first sound too good to be true, like your dream guy. He’ll have a good reason to not be able to share more pics like a broke camera, or that he doesn’t have many pictures of himself, he’s camera shy etc.  These guys will make excuses as to why they can’t meet which sound legit and can carry on a virtual relationship for a very long time.

 

There are also other personalities like the virtual dater, the cyber sex guy, and many other personas.  I could probably write a book about all the different online personalities there are. There are still really good guys out there. Online is just like being at the bar. There are those you gravitate towards and those you steer clear of. Online dating for men is a numbers game. They  will send out 100 “hi’s” or emojis and be happy if 2 reply. Just like at the bar, guys will use a cheesy pick up line and eventually a girl will bite.

 

Once you are armed with what to look out for, you'll be many steps a head and save yourself some potential heartache. Remember to keep it fun and see where it goes. You never know, you may be pleasantly surprised.

 

 For more in-depth online dating coaching tips send me an email to book your coaching time.

 

You can read part 2 here

 

 For more in-depth online dating coaching tips send me an email to book your coaching time.

 

If you'd like to use angelic guidance to help you with your search, I suggest the following:

 

Call upon Archangel Chamuel to assist you with finding unconditional love for yourself or others. He’s an expert at clearing out negative emotions. Call upon him to help you find your perfect love.

An example of a simple prayer after creating your profile and before making it live is as follows:
Archangel Chamuel, please help me clear out any negative emotions and replace them with love and joy. I ask for your assistance in helping me find my perfect partner who loves me unconditionally as I him. Please help me only attract suitable matches that radiate love and vibrate on a frequency that is comparable or higher than mine and match what I am looking for or better.

 

 

 

© Aria Moonstone, 2015-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Aria Moonstone appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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